The rules of spam
  • Rule #0: Spam is theft.
  • Rule #1: Spammers lie.
    • Russell's Admonition: Always assume that there is a measurable chance that the entity you are dealing with is a spammer.
    • Sharp's Corollary: Spammers attempt to re-define "spamming" as that which they do not do.
  • Rule #2: If a spammer seems to be telling the truth, see Rule #1.
    • Crissman's Corollary: A spammer, when caught, blames his victims.
  • Rule #3: Spammers are stupid.
    • Angel's Commentary: Spammers think it's okay to steal a little bit from a lot of people.
    • Krueger's Corollary: Spammer lies are really stupid. Pickett's Commentary: Spammer lies are boring.
    • Russell's Corollary: Never underestimate the stupidity of spammers. Spinosa's Corollary: Spammers assume everybody is more stupid than themselves.
    • Spammer's Standard of Discourse: Threats and intimidation trump facts and logic.
  • Rule #4: The natural course of a spamming business is to go bankrupt.
  • Rules-Keeper Shaffer's Refrain: Spammers routinely prove the Rules of Spam are valid.


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